Create your own World of Housecraft
How to win your husband away from World of Warcraft to do the more mundane chores of life.
First you will need to visit your local craft store to purchase some yellow paint, 2 Styrofoam chunks, and wire to make a coil. When you get home find two old head bands or hats. Coil the wire and attach to the top of the hat/head band. Carve a question mark and an exclamation point out of the Styrofoam. Now paint them both yellow. When dry, you then mount the question mark as well as the exclamation mark on the coils.
While you are waiting for things to dry create a few quests in the language of World of Warcraft. Divide your home into lands. Here the trick will be to get as close to a World of Warcraft name as possible. For example the Eastern Kingdom would become Eastern Dreamdom that would translate into the bedroom where we would have the following cities: The Underbed City , City if Iron Hangers, Hamperwind and Silverdresser. Other lands could be Kitchendor, Outsideland, and Livingrend.
The quests will also need to be in World of Warcraft speech. A quick online search will provide you with the proper tones and rhythm. Below are a few examples.
The entirety of the Underbed is overrun by vicious dust bunnies. Our soldiers stand ready, waiting for the Wifechief to give the attack orders.
Help the houseHorde take back the Undercity and earn your place among our greatest champions! Should you survive the assault, report to Commander Dustrag.
Check in with the Wifechief when you are ready to begin.
or
One of my most famous dishes is Roast Beef Basilisk in Lime Vinaigrette. But the problem is… the meat is impossible to keep fresh, and I must serve the dish tonight for a noble friend’s birthday!
So if you can bring me a Roast Beef Basilisk Haunch from a freshly-killed Cold Grocery Store, quickly, then I will owe you a king’s feast!
Cold Grocery Stores are known to roam along the beach dunes of northwestern Auburn-thorn, so you have much traveling to do. And be swift!
You will also need to take the time to consider the rewards of accomplishing the quests. This could be something simple like a choice between sandwiches you will fix or something racy like a choice between which color lingerie you should wear for tonight.
When the above prep is completed place the question mark on your head first and go about your normal chores. Soon your spouse will be drawn to the yellow question mark like a bug to a light. When they approach and ask “what is that?” All you need to say is “Greetings Warrior,” as you pass them the paper with one of your written requests.
Once the quest is accepted change your head piece to the exclamation point and be prepared to reward your brave warrior.
Esther said,
December 4, 2009 at 5:07 PM
Lexi, I LOVE love LOVE your World of Housecraft. Many a Warrior-wifechief has been lost to the realms of the WOW world, and this type of advice can be quite handy! Thanks for your humorous outlook with this too! VERY creative of you!