First you will need to visit your local craft store to purchase some yellow paint, 2 Styrofoam chunks, and wire to make a coil.   When you get home find two old head bands or hats.  Coil the wire and attach to the top of the hat/head band.  Carve a question mark and an exclamation point out of the Styrofoam.  Now paint them both yellow.  When dry, you then mount the question mark as well as the exclamation mark on the coils. 

While you are waiting for things to dry create a few quests in the language of World of Warcraft.  Divide your home into lands.   Here the trick will be to get as close to a World of Warcraft name as possible.  For example the Eastern Kingdom would become Eastern Dreamdom that would translate into the bedroom where we would have the following cities: The Underbed City , City if Iron Hangers, Hamperwind and Silverdresser.  Other lands could be Kitchendor, Outsideland, and Livingrend.  

The quests will also need to be in World of Warcraft speech.  A quick online search will provide you with the proper tones and rhythm.  Below are a few examples.

The entirety of the Underbed is overrun by vicious dust bunnies. Our soldiers stand ready, waiting for the Wifechief to give the attack orders.

Help the houseHorde take back the Undercity and earn your place among our greatest champions! Should you survive the assault, report to Commander Dustrag.

Check in with the Wifechief when you are ready to begin.

or

One of my most famous dishes is Roast Beef Basilisk in Lime Vinaigrette. But the problem is… the meat is impossible to keep fresh, and I must serve the dish tonight for a noble friend’s birthday!

So if you can bring me a Roast Beef Basilisk Haunch from a freshly-killed Cold Grocery Store, quickly, then I will owe you a king’s feast!

Cold Grocery Stores are known to roam along the beach dunes of northwestern Auburn-thorn, so you have much traveling to do. And be swift!

You will also need to take the time to consider the rewards of accomplishing the quests.  This could be something simple like a choice between sandwiches you will fix or something racy like a choice between which color lingerie you should wear for tonight.

When the above prep is completed place the question mark on your head first and go about your normal chores.  Soon your spouse will be drawn to the yellow question mark like a bug to a light.  When they approach and ask “what is that?” All you need to say is “Greetings Warrior,” as you pass them the paper with one of your written requests. 

Once the quest is accepted change your head piece to the exclamation point and be prepared to reward your brave warrior.

That is until recently. 

I was curious to see what all the hype was.  So I descended into his man cave very cautiously.  I needed to observe this new behavior in its natural environment.  Looking over his shoulder I saw the quest pop up window.  With minor movements he accomplished the quest goals and returned to the quest giver for a reward. With a sigh I came in closer. He immediately became irritable when my breath hit his neck.  It was then that the idea of World of Housecraft was born.  I left him there in his chair allowing the spiders to continue their web weaving at his ankles.

Now I knew how to get his attention.

After a quick trip to the craft store, I once again entered the man cave.  Soon I was behind him, my breath gently hitting his neck.  Again he became irritated once more and told me to leave.  Gently, I blew on his neck making him spin the chair around.  His eyes went wide as he recognized the bright yellow question mark I affixed to an old hat atop my head.  Before he could say anything else I handed him a parchment.  His eyes went wider still when he read the quest that I gave him.

Curse that automobile knight for breaking my water pump!

In southern Sears Forest, overlooking the Garage Mechanical Vice’s exit, you will find Lord Craftsman Tools. Kill him and take the everburning ratchet set from his corpse.

Bring it to the center of Winter’s Ford Lake in northern Howling Garage, and use it to free the maiden encased in ice. She is the guardian of an ancient water pump and will award it to whoever frees her.

Prove your worth and earn the weapon that she has guarded for so long, < husband’s name>.

Your reward will be: A ham sandwich with potato salad or a tuna fish sandwich with soup

With a leap he was out the door and on his way to fulfill the quest, leaving the poor spiders at his ankles spinning helplessly in the air.  Upon his return he approached me, with a loud proclamation that he was home.  I smiled sweetly while handing him another parchment paper.  At this time I changed the question mark to a gray exclamation point.

Did you win the water pump I seek?

With another leap he went out to the garage.  I had never seen such acrobatics from him. I soon began to think that he might injure himself by becoming suddenly active from such a lethargic lifestyle as I was changing the grayed exclamation point to bright yellow one.  An hour later he arrived in the kitchen, grease on his smeared across his face and water pump in hand.  I handed him another parchment.

The water pump is as ancient as the stories say.  It would seem there’s little reason to pay for an upgrade to my customary auto.  Winter’s Ford is far superior in mileage and I will continue to use it.  You have my thanks, < husband’s name>.

Since I had my husband’s attention, I donned the yellow question mark hat.  His eyes became bright again as I handed over another parchment. 

You’ve done an excellent job of delaying the work on the iron Garbage Can, but I fear we’ve only made the Wasteforged more determined to complete the weapon.

Even now, they’re bringing in new laborers and the overseers push the limit. We may not be able to keep them from bringing the colossus online, after all. Return to Narvir’s Kitchen, to the south and find the bags of refuse. They should be near the Sink tents and Garbage Disposal forges on the bottom level….